Wednesday, November 08, 2006

so many things annoy me now.

at patong patong na ang iniisip ko.

i still dont know if im gonna minor


at least he's still alive

and i realized all of these stemmed from him. ugh. goodluck.

i hope he changes. asa pa.

i know what you'll say.

let go. move on. he's not worth it. he doesn't deserve you.

i know.

but fuck all that. ewan. stupid, stupid me. this is hust another hd. and worse, i am in deep.

sorry to those who are affected by my being down and irritable. by my being energy-less and attitude. ganoon pala talaga when the heart is bothered.


ang dami. im drowning.

and my sembreak is utterly worthless.

if anything, it has worsened evertything. im oversleeping at the wrong times and overeating at the wrong times. ugh.

i dont want conflict. i dont even think i want interaction.

all i want to do is look at the stars. and dream.

the watergirl: "k"

Sunday, November 05, 2006
bloody fabulous sembreak (he better be dead)

im a refugee. i've been kicked out of my own house and is currently residing at the floor of my cousin's bedroom. frickin fantastic especially since im supposed to have an entire house to myself as my parents are out of the country. but no, i spent an entire week in manila afte 5 months of just being here 2 days in a month and im not even allowed to take baths in my own house on some nights. brilliant. next thing i know, ill be sleeping in the streets.

i didnt even join my block's ek trip. i woke up at 5:15 so that i can make the 745 call time, but i just.. didnt have the drive.. the energy to have fun. like i just wanted to whither up and read senseles romance novels. and thats what ive been doing all break (that and watching pda)

there are just too many things going on.. i havent even talked to my mom in quite a while as im not able to go online

i didnt have to choose between minoring or not. that choice has already been made for me. same as going to law school or any further studies for the moment.

i dont go out. i dont wake up. i dont sleep. i dont relax. this is the worst sembreak ever. i hate my friends (well, most). ive realized i barely even have friends. (who am i kidding? ive known this a long time ago) and im alienating people and ruining potentially good relationships.

and the omnipresent bm problem. i cant even tell anyone about this. this is so hopeless. this will be the end of me.

and my globe phone is broken. battery's acting up, freezes once a day, the signal disappears and the joystick has almost completely given up. oh, and my sun phone is going to be reclaimed.

oh, and did i mention i am dead broke? better than that, i have liabilities. more than assets. short term liabilities. maturing very, very soon. i do have some receivables, but they're virtually uncollectible, its as good as written off.

on top of everything, im in a relationship reminiscient of the hd. except that this one is very much real. so the frustration is tenfold.

if he's not dead, i'll kill him.

uggh.. this is worthy of self mutilation. dont worry, i would never do anything to physically damage or hurt myself. but i cannot promise i would never maul anyone. so get out of the way.

the watergirl: "k"

Tuesday, October 24, 2006
sembreak plans

walang net sa bahay. boo. im just in a net shop para mag vent.

everything is totally falling apart..


need i say more?

i need a real vacation.

i was never able to go the beach last summer.

and this sembreak? oh well.

so much for plans


ang nakakainis pa, may alternative lakad.

ganito kasi yun, dapat yung plan A ko was to go on vacay from sat or sunday to the week. but then to accomodate, we moved it to wednesday to friday. tapos the globe person wanted me to come for the case simulation on thursday but i asked for them to move it.

at the same time, i made very important plans (plan X) na for saturday.

so i turned down the friday-monday plan B.

but hello!!! just today i found out we're not pushing through tomorrow with Plan A. and dahil nga i moved the globe thing and i made the plan X na, di na ako makakasama sa bakasyon na plan B. oh well.

this leaves me stuck at home, with nothing to do but be catatonic. ugh...

my lord...

i swear.. i need to get away from it all.. especially since this is the last sembreak of my life..

oh, what a pathetic life!

and he doesn't even have time for me.

back to alone-ness.

the watergirl: "k"

Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Happy Birthday!

Happy 7th Birthday to my baby!

oo nga pala, binata na si baby ko.. Happy Birthday Adrian!

i hope you're gonna be able to keep your "birthday resolutions" of being magalang and mabait. and i know your birthday wish of being "matalino" has already been fulfilled!

aral ka lang mabuti baby! lapit na rin tayo magkasamasama. :D

and im starting my way backk.. one small step at a time..
i took the first one.. i hope i will have the courage to continue the journey home...

the watergirl: "k"

Wednesday, October 11, 2006
life changes

life is so fucked up.

we grieve the loss of our friend, but then life goes on for us.

life is unfair... life stops for some, life goes on for some. even for some who don't want to keep living.

and even when life screws you.. you just keep fighting for those whom you have lost, for those who are with you and for those who will come in your life.

the watergirl: "k"

Saturday, October 07, 2006
end of sem!!!!!!

it's the end of sem

at sangkaterbang pandudusta na ang naranasan ko mula sa mga taga UST at DLSU.

but it's ok. hindi ko pinapanghinayangan ang oras na ipiinila ko at ipinagpanood ko ng mga games. even when i screamed my lungs out shouting "one big fight," "halikinu," "fabilioh" and "a song for mary"... and we LOST big time.. it's still ayt. sabi nga "win or lose, its the school we choose!"

anyway, i saw how the community accepted the defeat.. gracefully. the people were somber during the mass, but i really felt bonded with everyone.. i really felt part of the whole ateneo family.. and i realized that the "win or lose" is not just a phrase but a reality in our hearts...

arghh. ang tamad ko na magsulat. naubos sa mga bs sa 1935, 1973, 1973 revised at 1987 contitutions..

ill edit this soon...

out of town naman..

the watergirl: "k"

Friday, September 22, 2006
School activities and bummers (and mga kabaduyan)

i cannot go online. ugh. ugh. ugh. problema ang inet connection.
at sobrang baduy ko na. since gradeschool, ngayon lang ulit ako nanood ng local channels ng puspusan. mula tv patrol world (minsan pati pangako sayo), deal or no deal, suoper inggo, , crazy for you, pinoy dream academy, noypi/correspondents/probe/soco, bandila, mirada de mujer hanggang uplate. wahhhh. at adik ako sa super inggo (nakakaiyak!), crazy for you (i love spain!) at pda(masarap manlait ng mga students/dreamers). at surprisingly, nakakaadik ang balita.

kung nagtataka kayo kung saan napunta ang star world at axn, wala kaming cable. dahil wala kaming pera. which brings me to another topic: i am poor.

i am sooo poor, especially dahil i dont tutor na AT ang daming gastos sa school (at misc. :P)


at umaattend na pala ako ng school activities like bowl for FAME, pj party, cervini party et. al.

miss ko na sina mom, dad and baby.

advanced happy birthday kay daddy!!
the watergirl: "k"

Friday, September 01, 2006
house, grey's anatomy, prison break, the devil wears prada and korean stuff

i have such an addictive personality.

i haven't been blogging much, but my laptop has been working overtime.

been watching marathons of grey's, house, lost, satc (forever and ever), and tonight: prison break.

oh, and romel has convinced me to watch a CRAPPY movie: moments of love

speaking of moments, i LOOOOVVVEEEE a moment to remember, windstruck and my sassy girl, so much that i bought a dvd of 8 korean movies. and i'll be having a My girl marathon soon too

oh and kevs and i watched the devil wears prada last wednesday. it was sooo good!

but it got me into thinking..

meryll streep (the devil. :P) puts her career on top of everything else.
on the other hand, anne hathaway (who wore great chanel boots) felt terrible and gave up a super career because she felt guilty.

i was annoyed at anne, i loved meryll. am i evil?

am i just too damn obsessed with having a kick-ass career that i would let other things and people that i value slide down?

i don't think (i hope) i would intentionally violate my friends and colleagues, but i also won't feel guilty when a boss lets me get ahead instead of them. if i were anne, i wouldn't let the guilt consume me, becasue i didn't do anything unethical, it was all meryll's

i understand that she was afraid of turning into her and making the same choices that she did, but she is a free being and thus she would have the option to act differently, to act according to her morals. it doesn't follow that because meryll streep is successful and she is the devil, anyone would have to be a devil to be successful or will turn into a devil upon achieving success.

its time for OR and borrrrriiinnggg POM
the watergirl: "k"